Top MacWorld 2009 Expo Rumors

New iPod Shuffle to weigh 6 pounds and only hold one song – but it is a really, really great song.

Pixar's new movie:  "Bill Gates, The Boy Who Showers With His Bathing Suit On"

Apple has purchased Infocom, and is getting back into text-based, interactive fiction.  New "even-textier" versions of Zork to be released in 2011.

IPhones sold at Wal-Mart will come in a choice of aromas:  "Country Gravy," "Sawdust + Cologne" and "Stank."

Steve Jobs' hormone imbalance has caused him to grow tennis rackets for hands.

The glitch causing lacerations when using the iPenis Acceptor has finally been corrected. 

Keynote Address will be delivered by Lode Runner from "Lode Runner."

A "Cinema Display" iPod Nano

New Slogan:  Steve Jobs Does Not Have Tennis Racket For Hands

New versions of OS X will no longer be named after jungle cats.  They will be named after "Thundercats."  First up, "OS X Panthro."

At long last... the Mac SE/31!!!