THE STAR WARS EMPEROR'S CLUB V.I.P. -- VERY IMPERIAL PALPATINE

Princess Leia -- Gold Slave Bikini -- 7 Death Stars -- 5000 Galactic Credits / hour

Princess Leia -- Hoth Snowsuit -- 3 Death Stars -- 1000 Galactic Credits / hour

Aunt Beru -- Tatooine Rags -- 0 Death Stars -- 5 Galactic Pennies / year

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SUPERHERO LAIR FORECLOSURES

"The Batcave" -- Traditional limestone solutional cave. Over three million years old & loaded with period charm! Only one owner! Incredibly spacious, high ceilings, naturally cool, granite everywhere! No bedrooms, no baths, no kitchen, no heat. Included are giant penny, punch-card computer, fifty years of bat-themed paraphernalia, Soloflex (used) and wry, octogenarian butler.

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W.H. AUDEN'S "FUNERAL BLUES FOR GARY GYGAX"

The dice are not rolling now; bag up every shape,
Put away your helmet and take off your cape,
Pour away the soda and eat the last Funyun;
For life without Gary is forever minus one